BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHY IS NOT SEXY. I'LL TELL YOU WHY. | LIFE AS FINE ART BY CATE SCAGLIONE

BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHY IS NOT A SEXY BUSINESS, AND NJ BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHER CATE SCAGLIONE IS ABOUT TO TELL YOU WHY.

My business is about Life as Fine Art. That means, acknowledging art as a celebration of your passions, and that the mere art of living on your own terms ...It's an art form in and of itself.

People often mistake that I am simply a "boudoir photographer". I am not. I'm a photographer for anyone who feels brave and passionate enough to express themselves through art.

Most of the time, this happens to be women. I think this is because we often feel suppressed expression. We crave it. We are so busy filling other roles, tuning into other channels, that we lose our channel of self-expression.

So many roles...Wife, Mother, Executive, Friend, Counselor, Referee, Enforcer, Planner, Strategist. I am not suggesting we do more than our male counterparts. I am acknowledging that as biological nurturers, it is a multi-faceted role we are born into. It just like being born into royalty (without the pomp and circumstance or servants, unfortunately).  

We are a different kind of Royals. We are Queens of what we choose to nurture in life.

Even if you were to consider yourself an "Alpha" woman, (we all know who they are within our own lives), you'll find you too, are Nurturers. Because...

Being a woman is not simply a sexual orientation. It is a spiritual one.  

You can Nuture a child, a pet, an employee, a career, a house, a plant, an art form. We are born to do this (or all of it simultaneously). It makes no difference if we are a mother or not,  single or married, gay or straight. We still have these womanly X chromosomes and we will find something to nurture. That is a beautiful wondrous gift from nature. 

Men are nurturers too. They just do it differently. That's also a beautiful unique thing. I can devote an entire blog post to the awesomeness of a nurturing male. But today, it's about our Queens. 

The role of "Nurturer" both enriches and destroys me as a Queen based on what I choose or don't choose to nurture. 

I've made some unquestionably fabulous moves as a nurturer: 

• Prioritizing my family's, and especially my young children's happiness and confidence above all else
• Treating clients like my own family in the spirit of fulfilling their needs 
• Choosing to do the right thing by people and stand up for what's right. Even when it's unpopular. (Sidenote: Good karma is the most powerful force in the universe). 

I've made some risky moves as nurturer: 

• It was probably not nurturing my career when I once told off a senior-level, highly influential but chauvenist pig boss, then quit with a huge smile. (Sidenote...that's an utterly amazing liberating experience.)
• It was probably not nurturing my Photography business's success when I kept quiet during a major business conflict and let individuals smear my name throughout my industry (Sidenote: High road always, eventually prevails, y'all). 
• I am not nurturing my bank account by sometimes putting my clients' priorities and well-being before my own and treating profit as a secondary priority (...Or does it?) 

I could argue the merits of any of these moves I make.

But the point I am trying to make here ...is this: 

Often times as women there is one person we forget to nurture... That is OUR SELF.

Some people find themselves embarassed to book a boudoir session (and really I like to call it Intimate Portraits not "boudoir" due to that stigma).

Or, they book it in secret.

Or, they feel selfishly overly-indulgent to invest money on themselves. ("3 pairs of back-to-school Air Jordans costs a LOT").

Or, they feel they aren't "perfect enough" yet for the session. (Huh?)

^ ^ There is NOTHING sexy about that.

And, meanwhile, a large portion of my miscrocosm on Facebookland is afraid to even look, acknowledge, or comment that I shoot this style (and yes it is simply an individual "style") of sessions. Because they view it as overly sexy, shameful or trivial. It is none of these things... 

I am in the business of Nurturing. Nurturing my clients, their self-image and their view of self-intimacy. I am in the business of reinforcing happiness. This is for all the Queens who nurture so many other things and all too often forget themselves. Nothing more, nothing less.  

xo, Cate
LifeAsFineArt.com 
cate@catescaglione.com 
732.676.3700

There's More Robin Williams In Us Than We Believe | LIFE AS FINE ART by Cate Scaglione

My business is called Life As Fine Art. ...It seems appropriate to honor someone who portrayed a life as a fine art form as much as the great Robin Williams. And, notably the others you may have never even heard of...

It's a day later and, I found myself leaving the Starbucks this morning in slow motion. My household cherished him like a joyous icon;  He has lived on my mantle for over 10 years, as seen in this picture of a NBC-TV news interview my husband Chris did with Robin in 2003. He is one of the only non-family members we were proud enough to put up on our pedestal.

My husband Chris and Robin Williams at Yankee Stadium during the 2003 World Series. Though he often meets with many athletes and celebrities,  this was his most exciting, favorite interview of all time... He HAD to get a pic that day. 

I sipped my morning iced coffee, like I do every single day...but today I felt the sting of tears just at mere thoughts of a man I'd never met. I think it's because there is a little Robin Williams in all of us than we want to believe.

The pain was brought on as I began to think about another funny, kindhearted and adventurous guy... a family member, who also lived a brilliant life. Silently, and in desperation. We lost him 2 years ago to the same fate.

Honoring another amazingly funny and adventurous guy most days. Picture taken by his sister...

I emailed his sister to let her know I was thinking of him today. And her too.

My mind then wandered over to one of my oldest and closest friends, who also lost a relative around that same time to suicide.

I messaged my friend. And I was right...She was feeling the exact same way I was, at the exact same time.

And then it hit me... how enormous and ominously impossible it must have been for all of them...The perception that one is left without options. Here we stay behind, guilt ridden and confused for not recognizing their infinite depths. Not soon enough...or as it may be, not even at all. Simply just too late.

We both began to ponder the fact about WHY some of the funniest, most successful people and intelligent are prisoners to depression. It's a disease that is so common, so invisible... a silent killer, often wrapped in humor and a sense of adventure.

It's like a cancer, but it afflicts the soul. 

That might sound like a good articulation of it, but there is a reason both of us could define it so easily... we'd both felt it too, in years past.  

I used to be ashamed to admit this, it was both a burden and a horrific embarrassment that I carried for about a year or two. It was brought on by forces I really felt I had no control over. But the only way to gain control of it was to stop feeling ashamed about it. One of my doctors actually thanked me when I finally admitted the burden of what felt like a slow moving freight train. The doctor admitted also to have lived these feelings in the past.

And then, in my Facebook news feed, tweets, etc, suddenly seemed like a microcosm, and I could decipher who also has lived with this burden. They were exposed by their all too obvious empathy of the situation. Their articulation of it was just all too perfect. And, it was way more people than I thought... speaking a secret language and separation between those who knew how it feels, and those who did not.

Rather than focus on the means of how we lost a man who brought us so much joy, I like to think this tragedy opens a door to a dark room...

Just removing some of this shame depressed people bear lets some light into that dark room, and begins a first step to healing. 

We all know the feeling, at some point or another, personally or by proxy. 

It's a blind situation where many of the people you know, right in front of you, may be living with depression:

"In the United States, a person dies by suicide every 13.7 minutes, claiming more than 38,000 lives each year. It is estimated that an attempt is made every minute, with close to one million people attempting suicide annually. Suicide is the fourth leading cause of death in the U.S. among adults 18-65, the second leading cause of death among teens and young adults, and individuals ages 65 and older account for 16 percent of all suicide deaths. This is a public health issue that does not discriminate by age, gender, ethnicity, or socio-economic status."

Get help. Or, look a little harder at someone you know. They might just be the one who is laughing just a little bit louder than everyone else.

My cousin Tara, in the wake of her brother's death has become a fundraiser for Out of the Darkness, a charity dedicated bringing awareness and suicide prevention. If you choose, please support her efforts and donate in the name of Timothy J. Larkin.

I leave you with this EXCERPT FROM TIME MAGAZINE by JIM NORTON:  

"...The funniest people I know seem to be the ones surrounded by darkness. And that’s probably why they’re the funniest. The deeper the pit, the more humor you need to dig yourself out of it.

Years ago, I was told that one of the most important attributes humans don’t have is the ability to see themselves the way others do. This is normally what I think of when people behave like an ass and don’t realize it, or think they’re smarter than they actually are. It’s rare that I think of it in the terms I have been after hearing about Robin."

CASTING CALL: BRIDAL MODELS | NJ & NYC BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHER CATE SCAGLIONE

CASTING CALL:  BRIDAL MODELS WANTED. GREAT OPPORTUNITY FOR A WEDDING MAKEUP TRIAL |  HEADSHOTS AVAILABLE FOR PARTICIPANTS

Our wonderful collaborator, Makeup Artistry by Miranda Richards is now casting female (pro and non-professional models welcome), ages 20-40, for a Bridal-styled shoot by Cate Scaglione. All looks, sizes, and ethnicities are most welcomed for consideration. 

This is a great opportunity for upcoming brides to do a makeup trial and mini-photo session all in one!  

As part of this opportunity, you will be provided with:  

• Hair, makeup, and some wardrobe styling.  
• High res-Digital file of your bridal look(s) 
• A complimentary professional headshot session (with no session/nor styling fees) for professional or social media use; If you choose, and you may also purchase the file or print. 

Candidates will be chosen by MakeupArtistry by Miranda Richards exclusively. To be considered, please message "LIKE" her Facebook page and message Miranda on her page. Only selected model applicants will be contacted by Miranda. Scheduling to take place August through September in NJ locations. You must be available to shoot on scheduled shoot days to be considered. (Dates are currently TBC.)

BOUDOIR WARDROBE WED. (Earlybird style!): THE CURVY WOMAN'S GUIDE TO INTIMATE APPAREL | NYC & NJ Boudoir Photographer Cate Scaglione

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THE CURVY GIRL's GUIDE TO INTIMATE APPAREL | Life As Fine Art by Cate Scaglione | NYC AND NJ BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHER 

Part 1: Wardrobe Inspiration for the Curvy Goddess & a Shopping Resource List

I've tried to make a lovely new habit of posting "Wardrobe Wednesdays" for all things about session styling and fashion. However, today I the *THE. MOST. AMAZING. CONSULTATION.* with a new client and I could barely contain my excitement to start planning her session. (This post is dedicated to YOU "Lady L.!")

She described that she is a curvy girl. And, while an intimate portrait session is never something she would have considered before, she liked that she had seen in an earlier blog post that I really do enjoy working with curvier ladies. 

Why, you ask? Well, let's face it. Most of us are curvy ladies, including ME. 
A small, considerably blessed part of the population is naturally thin; then there are my workout ladies who are fit as all heck, with excellent muscle tone and shape.
.... Sure, there are parts of us curvy gals who would love to be you for a day. But then again, acceptance of who we are and what we are blessed with, in whatever shape or form that takes, is the MOST beautiful thing EVER.

But from an artistic standpoint, as a photographer, I also love the aspect of form. Curvy ladies are gorgeous in so many ways. Their shapes are soft and rounded, the light and shadows can dance off them beautifully. When I ask them to bend a hip or push their bottom, we have lots of it to bend. That is true sensuality.

And so, on what would normally be a Wardrobe Wednesday, Lady L. inspired me to give it to you TODAY. Stay tuned for Part 2 on Wednesday, when I post how the various kinds of intimate apparel can flatter the various body types.

And THANK YOU LADY L. for putting us on this "learning CURVE" for the day. 

P.S. - A special thanks to my Girl, the ever-talented great plains goddess, Christie Conyer, who assembles the best lingerie ensembles ever, for me and my other top boudoir photographer-members of the the Association of International Boudoir Photographers. 

Are We All Real Housewives of New Jersey? | LIFE AS FINE ART by CATE SCAGLIONE

ARE WE ALL REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY:  CAN ADULTS BULLY TOO? 

With a massive awareness campaign throughout our schools and communities, there's a zero tolerance level when it comes to bullying a child. But what about when adults bully another adult? 

I began watching the Real Housewives of New Jersey for the first time this summer, because I am so proud and intrigued to see my beautiful client, Amber Marchese make her debut this season.

In last week's episode (which I finally got to watch on DVR!), Amber was completely ambushed by at least three other women verbally. Then, I watched her get attacked physically. Her husband Jim, also misunderstood, was confronted by a mob due to a rather a smart business decision he made (IMHO).

Watching people that I know to be kindhearted, honest and forthright was gut-wrenching. Sure, I understand that a program like the Real Housewives of New Jersey has an entertainment value. But it's never entertaining for me to watch people I care about get bullied by other adults.  

So this brings up the topic... Why do adults think it's acceptable to bully when they would never tolerate this for their children?  Some housewives are bullies and some are the target of them.  

A show like RHONJ might seem extreme, but it's really not.

Earlier this year an NFL player, Jonathan Martin, filed a formal complaint and suit with the NFL for the extreme bullying he endured from teammates. Some dismissed it as trivial, but it has destroyed his livelihood and reputation, even though he was the target.

As an active and professional blogger, witness this often in the online world too. Across Facebook forums, industry blogs, Instagram and Twitter, people go on personal attacks and belittle others who oppose an opinion or reel from misunderstood intentions. Expression morphs to Game of Thrones-caliber proportions. Has the digital age's e-facade made it easier for these types of people to be confrontational? Do "less confrontational" people find it easier to go on attack in the online space? Live and let live, even in the virtual world, I say.

Being the nonfiction junkie that I am, I did a little research.

According to Bullystatistics.org: 

The goal of an adult bully is to gain power over another person, and make himself or herself the dominant adult. They try to humiliate victims, and "show them who is boss."

Adult bullies were often either bullies as children, or bullied as children. Understanding this about them may be able to help you cope with the behavior. But there is little you can do about it beyond doing your best to ignore the bully, report his or her behavior to the proper authorities, and document the instances of bullying so that you can take legal action down the road if necessary.

There are several different types of adult bullies, and it helps to know how they operate:

1. Narcissistic Adult Bully: This type of adult bully is self-centered and does not share empathy with others. Additionally, there is little anxiety about consequences. He or she seems to feel good about him or herself, but in reality has a brittle narcissism that requires putting others down.

2. Impulsive Adult Bully: Adult bullies in this category are more spontaneous and plan their bullying out less. Even if consequences are likely, this adult bully has a hard time restraining his or her behavior. In some cases, this type of bullying may be unintentional, resulting in periods of stress, or when the bully is actually upset or concerned about something unconnected with the victim.

3. Physical Bully: While adult bullying rarely turns to physical confrontation, there are, nonetheless, bullies that use physicality. In some cases, the adult bully may not actually physically harm the victim, but may use the threat of harm, or physical domination through looming. Additionally, a physical bully may damage or steal a victim's property, rather than physically confronting the victim.

4. Verbal Adult Bully: Words can be quite damaging. Adult bullies who use this type of tactic may start rumors about the victim, or use sarcastic or demeaning language to dominate or humiliate another person. This subtle type of bullying also has the advantage - to the bully - of being difficult to document. However, the emotional and psychological impacts of verbal bullying can be felt quite keenly and can result in reduced job performance and even depression.

5. Secondary Adult Bully: This is someone who does not initiate the bullying, but joins in so that he or she does not actually become a victim down the road. Secondary bullies may feel bad about what they are doing, but are more concerned about protecting themselves.

Workplace bullying can make life quite miserable and difficult. Supervisors should be made aware of adult bullies, since they can disrupt productivity, create a hostile work environment (opening the company to the risk of a law suit) and reduce morale.

It is important to note, though, that there is little you can do about an adult bully, other than ignore and try to avoid, after reporting the abuse to a supervisor (or moderator). This is because adult bullies are often in a set pattern. They are not interested in working things out and they are not interested in compromise. Rather, adult bullies are more interested in power and domination. They want to feel as though they are important and preferred, and they accomplish this by bringing others down. There is very little you can do to change an adult bully, beyond working within the confines of laws and company regulations that are set up. The good news is that, if you can document the bullying, there are legal and civil remedies for harassment, abuse and other forms of bullying. But you have to be able to document the case.

...The reality is we cannot change chosen behaviors of grown adults. But knowing how to deal with and identify them is beneficial to all. Even if you're not the victim of adult bullying, do have the guts to stand up for someone who is. Let's be adults now! Now, back to my regularly scheduled Sunday programming with The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Nervous to see what happens next. I'll be the lady in the #TeamAmber jersey popping antacids for the hour.  
(Tune in to Real Housewives on Bravo Network, 8PM EST)

To read more, visit bullystatistics.org

`

BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHY: I'M SHATTERING 20 OF YOUR BIGGEST MISCONCEPTIONS RIGHT NOW | Life As Fine Art by Cate Scaglion

I'M SHATTERING 20 OF YOUR BIGGEST BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHY MISCONCEPTIONS RIGHT NOW  | Life As Fine Art By Cate Scaglione 

As a New York and New Jersey boudoir photographer, I meet a lot of people. I always know when that strange look on people’s faces is coming…

Them:  “Oh so you’re a photographer! How interesting. What kind of photography?”

Me:  “I am a women’s photographer. I shoot all aspects of a woman’s life…beauty, boudoir, family.”

Them: “Ohhhh wow. (crooked mouth, cockeyed expression)…

So…Boudoir?” 

That "So... Boudoir" facial expression. It falls under one of three categories… excitedly curious, sheepishly mortified, or downright appalled.  Or, maybe it’s a combination of the three.

It’s a rare occasion that they follow up to ask me “So, what IS boudoir?” But the truth is, I can't define it for THEM.  It's NOT a style defined not by ME. It’s their definition of beauty, sensuality and femininity. My job is to create that experience for them.

I find my greatest joy, not just in creating a beautiful piece of art; It's in the process of discovery. It’s about hearing her story, then translating that into a stunning visual. I want to help her  celebrate her deepest emotions.

I want her to find pieces of herself she may have forgotten. Or, perhaps acknowledge the truths she wants to celebrate. It’s an enriching, cathartic experience. Many of my clients call it “life changing”. Often, they say they are “seeing” themselves for the first time as a sensual being.

But for some reason, I always still see a little shudder in the faces of those who ask.

I decided this must be a lack of understanding what I do.  

And so, I present to you... 
20 Shattered Misconceptions About Boudoir Photography by Cate Scaglione

1. "I am not a model."   Great. Because actually, 99.9% of my paying clients aren’t models either. A “model” is someone who is paid to be photographed for a living. No, I much prefer you pay me instead.
    
2.  "I don’t look like a model."  Well, most models don't look like models. Have you ever seen a “before” picture of many top models? Often times, they're not the same stunning people you see in magazines. Hair, makeup and Photoshop are typically involved in creating that polished editorial look. You have the option to choose to do the same, and you too can look like a model. Or, go with a more natural look.
    
3. "I have no idea how to pose in pictures."  Haha, well... neither do I actually. But if I have a an experienced beauty photographer trained to pose me and give me great direction, I would look fantastic in photos. Luckily I am that person for you.
    
4. "I am too overweight to do a boudoir session."  Too overweight? …compared to what standard? You’d be surprised to know many well trained boudoir photographers LOVE sessions with curvier women. In fact, many of us prefer it. Why? We know how to light, pose and dress you so you can celebrate those curves and not condemn them. I like to shatter your negative myths and help you create new, positive ones.
    
5.  "I am too shy for this. I don’t see myself as sexy." This is an intimate portrait session. By definition it’s about intimacy, privacy and solitude. My job is to make you comfortable so you feel great in your own skin, and to draw you out to the person you know you are within. It’s YOUR version of sexy,  not anyone else’s. And, when I do my job right, you will absolutely see yourself as sexy.
    
6. "First I need to lose these last 10 pounds."  No, you don't. Because you probably won't. I've had a client expressing vehemently for 3 years now how she wants to do her session as soon as she loses that extra weight. She still hasn't booked it.  Celebrate who you are RIGHT NOW.  You can do a session today then again and again. It’s actually great fun to see that progress. That is the beauty of milestones… You can celebrate your life every time you decide to.
    
7.  "I’m too old to do a boudoir session."  Are you too old to feel special? Appreciated?Beautiful? YOU get to choose to embrace who you are throughout life’s many beautiful stages. YOU get to choose how you’re styled in a way that makes sense to you. Sure, you may not be that same girl as you were in your early 20s. Now you're even better...you're a woman. Today's woman is better than yesterday's woman. Let’s go now.
    
8. "I’ll have to wear sexy lingerie for the session." There are no rules that say a boudoir session is about lingerie. It’s about creating your intimate definition of beauty in any way you like. That can be in a sweater… in a negligee…in a ball gown. It’s about intimacy with your sense of self… not your  wardrobe.
    
9.  "My pictures will end up on the Internet."  No. Client privacy is the number one priority for any reputable boudoir photographer. To us, your intimacy is a highly protected entity that we go to great lengths to secure, and share only with your written permission. We love and respect all clients, whether they choose to publish their images or not. We are guardians of your privacy.
    
10. "I can shop around to get great deal for boudoir photography."  A woman’s private moments should never feel like “bargains”. The blatant truth here is, you’ll get what you pay for. A boudoir session is a life-changing experience, which typically includes a moderate investment. A professional photographer's trade is very expensive to run; Therefore a highly skilled, reputable boudoir photographer is almost never “cheap” and does not "deep discount". A boudoir photographer who knows their own worth also know what a great client is worth to us. We’ll go to the furthest lengths to earn every penny, with gratitude and a pursuit of excellence.
     
11. "It’s arrogant to hang pictures of myself around the house."  Really? Why? Is it arrogant to look in the mirror? To keep a journal? To meditate? Your portraits are no different. They are just an introspective symbol of your feminine self. My job is to help you love that Woman on the wall as much as any other work of art that hangs in your home. What’s selfish about that?
     
12. "My friends and family would not approve of me doing this."  Well, that’s fine, because you’re not doing it for them. You’re doing it for YOU. You don’t need anyone else’s approval but your own.
     
13. "I’m too scared to do this alone. I think I need moral support!"  That’s perfectly fine. While I prefer to keep sessions confined to me, my client and my hair/makeup artist only, I do allow friends to book sessions together. They often find that it’s a blast (and want to come back alone again!). I’ll warn you though, we do laugh a little too much.
     
14. "I’ll be a nervous wreck the whole time."  No, you'll be nervous for 8.5 minutes and that's all. Because if you are nervous after the first 8.5 minutes of your session, I am doing an awful job. Once we get started, I help melt away the tension and you feel your groove. I find that it literally only takes 8.5 minutes, without fail before SHE makes her grand appearance.
     
15. "I’m not photogenic."  Well, if I haven’t photographed you before, you are not unphotogenic to ME.  This is not bragging… this is my JOB.  My single task is to help you look and feel the most beautiful you’ve ever felt. Invariably, clients often cry in disbelief when they see their images, when they see a beautiful woman staring right back at them.
     
16. "I’ll do it because my (husband/boyfriend/partner) will like it."  Your (husband/boyfriend/partner) liking the byproduct of our session is surely a bonus. However, this experience is for you and you alone. This is a celebration to reacquaint with your feminine self, in whatever style you choose for it to be. You are more than a book, a framed picture or an album. As a woman, you are a work of art. You deserve to feel that way.
     
17. "Oh my goodness, my photographer is going to see me naked."  Yes, while some clients choose to be in a state of undress, that does not have to be the case. You can wear as much as you want or as little as you want. It’s not about your wardrobe but a depiction of your intimacy. Besides, you'd be shocked to know that I'm so busy adjusting my light, composing the shot, working my camera, and posing you, that your state of nudity is virtually the last thing I am noticing. An experienced boudoir photographer is like your doctor. We have seen it all and we don’t notice it.
     
18. "My photographer is going to think my idea is crazy, but…" As artists, we are idea people. We love to hear ideas and to fulfill your wishes. And, if we cannot accommodate them, we can refer you to another photographer who may be able to. Your ideas about beauty and intimacy are yours and not up for our judgment.
     
19. "My (husband/boyfriend/partner) will not like this idea."  If your significant other does not appreciate the opportunity for you to feel special, confident and beautiful, that is their unfortunate choice. But you do not have to choose the same fate for yourself. You are your own person, with your own emotional needs. I respect the nature of your relationship but YOU as my client are my only priority and my person of concern.
     
20. "This is a once in a lifetime experience."  Yes and no. You can do this once for your bucket list; Or, you can do it year after year, in as many styles or variations as your little ritualistic self would like. It will feel like a once in a lifetime experience every time, that I promise you!

Ready to book your session? You can contact me here or call me at 732.676.3700.